Instead of complaining about hotels who don’t treat us like kings (for compensation), and instead of teaching how to be a tool to the hotels, I think this community needs a “how not to be a self-entitled ‘Platinum’ member and how to treat staff like people 101 class”.
Am I “pro-conusmer”? No. Am I pro-big-corporation? Heck no! (Although the response at the end of this post from the hotel GM brings me odd amounts of joy).
I’m pro-not-being-a-tool. I don’t care if the hotel deeply wronged you by making you wait in the lobby, don’t be a tool. However, I find so many people on TripAdvisor are so dumb they shouldn’t be allowed to review hotels. In fact, so many leave complaints on the wrong hotel, or complain about the restaurant (or mall) next to the hotel, or leave reviews when they’ve never been in the door. Like the people below…
But my favorite TA review ever may come from this self-entitled tool who stayed at the Hyatt Regency Phuket (where I am now). Couldn’t help but notice this and turn it into a post.
Okay this is really about entertainment, but it makes me sympathize for hotels because you know this effects their revenue. Tools I tell ya.
HORROR at the Hyatt Phuket!
Let me give you some highlights from this incredibly long review. (I do a summary of the review below in the text, so you can skip the pic).
“The horror started from the arrival pick-up… We ordered a Mercedes E Class airport pick-up. To our dismay, we were received by a 7 seater van.”
* Facepalm *
Can you imagine… having to sit… in a van…
I can’t even say it.
A van where perhaps middle class people have sat? Like why else would they be in a van?
“In the van, no cold towels and bottled water. Not even soft music in the van.”
Now I’ve stayed in a lot of 4 & 5 star hotels… but is the soft music in the van, is that a thing? Or was this guy just wanting to start his romantic vacation asap!?
“We were made to wait at the lobby while staff was checking us in. Then came a staff with water and cold towels on a tray and left it on a table next to us. So we are suppose to help ourselves??”
I’m speechless. Like, were they supposed to dump that drink down your throat? Were they supposed to wipe the towel all over your face? All that waiting to check in and no towel massage?
Seriously. What in the world were they supposed to do with that towel and drink?
On second thought… I don’t wanna know.
But wait until you hear about the poor conditions of the room!
The second bedroom bed was slanting to the side. I wonder if a supervisor had actually checked the suite before allowing guests to enter.
Hmm… I wonder if the “supervisor of bed straightening” was just off or what?
“Unfortunately, in this instance, my vacation was ruined”
That is truly a horror. All these are genuine problems. … Not!
I wish this guy had more reviews to read. Luckily he likes the DoubleTree nearby enough to leave a 3 star review. Since he is a self-proclaimed “hotelier” (something he states at the end of the Hyatt review), he was able to well articulate exactly why the DoubleTree was so nice… like, “Pool was big and plenty of room for adults and kids.” Both!? At the same time? Now that. That is a big pool.
This guy is a “hotelier”… wanna be associated with that?
Sorry the hotel isn’t responsible for India, tool.
In Amritsar, India (which is really cool), one of the nicer hotels we stayed at was the Country Inn & Suites and it was only 9,000 points! Steal.
But here someone complains about the view and has a picture titled “Another unexciting view”.
This is what India looks like you douche. Sorry it wasn’t exciting. The view the other direction was a crowded crappy street. They just shouldn’t open hotels there, eh?
But seriously, you’re going to leave a negative review of this Indian hotel because outside the window it looks like India? I know, you could travel with a beach poster the size of a window. That way when you get somewhere you don’t like, you can cover up the window with something exciting.
No. Wait. You’re right. The hotel should be the one printing out pictures of the Maldives and covering their windows.
If TripAdvisor was a loitering rating system, the IC Danang would get 1 star.
(I’ll also breakdown this review in the text below the pic).
Let me sum up what happened here.
“I was in Da Nang a month ago staying at another 5 star resort… I had rented a motorbike for a few days… We drove up to the gate and we were told to leave as visitors were not allowed in to see the hotel. Now, this is the first time in my life that I have been told I am not allowed to check out the property. Very surprised and bitterly disappointed.”
Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what TripAdvisor is for?
Thanks for warning all of the potential bums out there who were hoping to hang out on the InterContinental’s beach that they too would likely be denied access. If it weren’t for this review, I would have no idea that you first need a reservation. *blinks*
This tells us nothing about the hotel. Do people not understand that you actually have to stay at a hotel to be able to rate it properly?
Again, if TripAdvisor was a loitering rating system, the IC Danang would get 1 star. Agreed. But it’s not.
But the best part of this review is the response from the General Manager.
On TA the hotel is allowed one public response to a review. 99.99% of the time the management responds to negative reviews with an apology and says something like “we hope to see you again.”
This response was baller.
I am quite puzzled by your review to say the least hence the reason why I have taken so long to respond as it is the first time we received a comment on a stay in our Resort without the guest having stayed in it!!
Yes, how’s that not a rule? And it’s funny to see a GM use two exclamation marks!!
Our Resort is very unique and very exclusive indeed and we have certain parameters for outside guests to visit to protect our exclusive guests’ privacy and comfort. Dress code is one of them.
Wait… does that mean I’m not allowed in?
We therefore do not allow guests entering on motorbike with flip flops and non appropriate clothes for obvious reasons. I therefore suggest that if you decide to visit a top luxury Resort such as ours, you dress appropriately which will avoid such disagreement.
(So I’m definitely not allowed?)
I am however delighted to read that the privacy and exclusivity of our guests were indeed well protected.
Best. Line. Ever.
Best Regards,
Arnaud Girodon
Dear Sir Girodon, I want to be the first…
Conclusion
Don’t be that guy. Or any of these. But especially not the first guy.
Okay, this is my new hobby. And just to give you a heads up, from now on if you see an epicly dumb review, save it. I’ll be launching my first ever contest Tuesday! So stay tuned.
Contests to me are generally dumb, boring and obviously a marketing scheme. But if there is a funny/entertaining, creative and helpful contest… I’m all about that. Contest it is folks.
Be exited, mmk?
yeah, I ve read that report on Hyatt Phuket and thinking of staying there next year. did you look on the side box of where that reviewer from. He’s a rich camel jock from the desert and probably have more money than water. I m not surprise at all when I read it and look on the side bar that this guy from UAE. normal, even western rich people would never complain as such.
No comment. But I did see and included a picture. 😀
I LOVE it! I love reading the crazy reviews on TA. But you noticed those 2 reviewers only had 3 reviews to their name. Sometimes I think people come on there with the sole intention of being tools. They have some vendetta against a property or location. And like Choi says above, the first guy is from Dubai…he probably is used to people pouring the water down his throat and doing who knows what with the warm towels.
Love this post, I look forward to seeing more bad TA reviews. I have read a few crazy ones, I need to go back and find them.
Yes, find them, we will!
Yea, the funniest/dumbest ones all have few reviews. And 3 makes you a “hotelier”. *rollseyes*
I read a FT thread where I former Marriott employee answered anyone’s questions. Really entertaining. He said people would demand things and say, “I know Bill Marriott”. He’s like, “okay, but I still don’t have any suites to give you for free because we are completely sold out.”
Some people.
hilarious!
I know, it’s too much fun.
Love your stuff
Thanks, although I just pointed these things out… didn’t write them. :-p
What really irks me are the people who leave bad reviews for two and three-star properties because they expected four and five-star luxuries. If you’re staying at a hotel that runs $35/night because it’s the most affordable option, don’t be surprised if you don’t receive $250/night quality. Regretfully, too many people on TA (and in general) fail to comprehend that.
While being a jerk may help you get your way in some situations, I’ve found you’re much more likely to get what you want with a smile and compassion than by treating everyone around you like they’re lesser humans. Anyone that’s ever worked in a bar or restaurant knows how much that being a jerk to your server is going to improve your experience. The answer is not at all. In fact, it will likely decline.
In the real world, I’ve told more random strangers to stop being dicks to other random strangers than I can count, but online I simply just shake my head.
Maybe I’m too much of a hippie with too strong of a belief in peace, love and kindness, or maybe I’m just pro-not-being-a-tool, too.
Maybe I’m too much of a hippie with too strong of a belief in peace, love and kindness, or maybe I’m just pro-not-being-a-tool, too.
^^^^^ and apparently the worst of all are people who accidentally include a couple of paragraphs twice at the end of their comments.
? Jonathan, totally not apparent why an accidental typo makes him the worst ? Perhaps he was re-arranging the paragraphs and missed the repeated parts accidentally.
I was making a joke – it was my own post, and you are spot-on about what happened. Just hoping Drew might fix it for me ;-).
lol! I love that you had to defend yourself against your own joke! hahah! People should learn to read, seriously!
Unfortunately, the hotel industry is so scared of bad reviews that being an apparent jerk actually works. I saw a guy at the Renaissance Aruba FLIP out over a hairdryer not working… not joking. They gave him the biggest suite in the hotel and he still complained. But they still do whatever you say. Sad.
Hippies don’t win if you’re definition of success is getting everything you want. IMO.
Therefore it’s out job to find these tools and their reviews online and laugh at them! lol
Actually, I have the opposite beef about TripAdvisor reviews – think the biggest problem is improperly high ratings. I stay at nicer hotels and my criteria is that the hotel has to be as clean/updated as my home. So many leave glowing reviews despite saying things like “other than the smell in the room” or “peeling paint” or “food poisoning”, they still give a 5 star review? WTF. Any one of those is a fail for any decent hotel, let alone a 5 star.
For the occasional overly negative review, there are 100 overly generous reviews.
That’s a good point. I’ve noticed just from clicking on strangers profiles, like all but one of their reviews are 5 star. I think everyone just wants to love the decision they made. And maybe they did their research and knew what area/style they’d prefer.
But I’m certain that you’re right. Way more 5 star reviews than any other.
Hilarious! Can hardly wait to read results of said contest!
I also totally agree about these faceless online people who leave unreasonably terrible reviews. It used to make me worried about booking hotels, but now I usually disregard the 1-2 star reviews and the 5 star reviews and just read the opinions of the 3-4 star reviewers. So far in my experience, they give the best/most realistic view of what to expect.
Yea, I love TA for the user photos actually. That is totally honest. Just the average joe’s photos with no photoshop or golden light. 1 star reviews are always extreme people or extreme situations it seems. Then again, if there were enough extreme situations I’d be worried.
And that’s why GM’s should stick up for their staff. Say, “listen jerk, my guard isn’t a DB, you’re just not worthy”. Instead of saying “I’m so sorry.” Because then maybe would read the GM responses and see why there was a 1 star. But there’s no reason, as it’s always an apology.
Drew you could not be more opposite and different than GLeff of VFTW. That is why I love you man!!.
While I really enjoy VFTW, I can agree that our lives are probably the opposite. But who knows. Either way, it’s always good to feel the love. :-p Thanks Doc!
good story, but please stop over using the new word you learned “baller”. you sound like a simpleton. you need to be taken seriously.
Am I not a simpleton?
ftr, I just googled “simpleton” and it said, “a foolish or gullible person”, and decided not to deny any claim implying that I am a said simpleton.
Sounds like somebody didn’t get his cold towel rub and is taking it out on you, Drew! 😉
hahaha. Goodness, that’s funny.
Maybe one needs a cool drink drank for them.
OMG that poor person, no soft music in the van…………..and he also had to drink his own drink! LMAO!
I use TA a LOT to help choose hotels but I ignore anything from people with only a few reviews and look for top contributors. And then I am realistic about what to expect. I hate when people slam an eco-lodge for only having power at certain times of day, do they really want to have noisy generators on all night?
Yea, kinda what Jonathan said… He hates when people slam cheap hotels for being cheap.
I mean, if you think about it… no music is kind of a “horror”. That would “ruin” my vacation. that’s just me tho.
TripAdvisor is largely useless for the star ratings, I like to read a few reviews at each star rating (especially the 1star and 5 star ratings) to see if people are nitpicking or there are some actual problems with the hotel.
I agree.
Tell me Drew, how different is it from every blog out there criticizing every little thing in the first class cabin while flying for free? We have so many experts on caviar and champaign… Spoon, no spoon, Krug, @#rug… True elites. Somehow it’s even sadder on the day like today when you think about the innocent young guys losing their lives out there… Call me angry….
Could I use a second, “no comment” today?
No. You have used up your 5th amendment rights. Wait, you never had any under Thai martial law. Still no.
Luckily in Phuket, no one takes that stuff seriously. :-p
I have no words.
No wait I do, though probably best to leave it unsaid as even douches like a certain Hasli S. of Dubai, UAE has feelings too.
Feelings that the good people of Hyatt Phuket gave zero considerations to. I mean the gall to to pick them up in a Van! A Van without 1-cold towels, 2-bottled water and 3-soft music!! How could they? And worst of all the staff had the fracking balls to “make them wait at the lobby while checking in. Then bring them water and cold towels on a tray and LEAVE IT ON A TABLE next to them!” I ask you, were they supposed to help themselves?? I mean how is that in any way reasonable?
Where were the Eunuchs who should be personally wiping them with cold towels on bended knees? Where were the Vestal Virgins who should have brought the drink to their lips by way of said Virgins’ milky thighs? And while they are at it, where may I ask was the rose petal foot bath, the cold grapes – peeled of course, the Four String Quartet, and more Virgins with palm fronds fanning them?!? Where damn it?!
Should one not expect this kind of treatment at the very least, after graciously leaving their enclosed compound to grace the commoners with their presence? I mean COME ON!
Oh look at that. I couldn’t leave it unsaid after all.
I think the first review’s comments about the van are legitimate…when you request car service with a hotel, they list what size cars are available, and what makes/models to expect…if the car that arrives is completely different or service is mediocre, then it’s good to know. This is not complimentary shuttle service that is common in the US.
Car service is useful in foreign countries for large groups, baggage issues, language issues, remote locations, and areas with safety concerns…but they also cost 2-5X the normal taxi rate. I’m thankful for the comments and will probably not use HR Phuket’s car service. (BTW: The Hyatt website does list a Mercedes for > 5 people, and uses the terms “Hotel Limousine” and “elegant and comfortable chauffeur-driven cars.” After being oversold like this, would you be happy with a van?)
I don’t know about the music though…