The Epicly Dumb Hotel Review Finalists!

*Update*

The winner was #2: “Some rooms are Haunted”. (And the runner up was #4 – “Undisney like”.

Both were great… or rather, terrible reviews. But “Haunted” was my favorite.

Although, I have to say… Ever since I read the TripAdvisor reviews in my first post – Angry About Angries: Epicly Dumb TripAdvisor Reviews – I haven’t stopped referencing them.

Particularly the first review, was incredible. For the last month we’ve been saying, “no soft music?” and “what! Do they expect me to use this cold towel on my own?” and I constantly think of the great response from the GM at the IC Danang. Good times ya’ll.

Pre-Update:

There were many terrible highlights from the contest! But some reviews are epicly bad!

Take the time, do your duty, and vote. You could be forever bettering the future of TripAdvisor, which has a huge impact on the travel industry. Make it a better planet and vote.

It could be swayed by how funny it is or how mad it makes you. Maybe, which one should be kept off TripAdvisor. Up to you! But you need to vote on the worst one.

I’ll leave voting up for one week. The winner will be announced Wed, June 18th. Vote by clicking like for your favorite, in the box below each review.

#1

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 12.53.39 AM

The St Regis $300 “solution” to the 0.7 mile problem

To sum it up, this guy demands a free taxi from the St. Regis in NYC because it’s raining.

Trapped in a rain storm at a restaurant 0.7 miles from S Regis NYC… called the hotel to ask for help getting back. No, they could not call a cab. No, they could not send the courtesy car. Instead, the concierge “offered” sending a limo for the cost of $118 an hour and with a 2 hour minimum, plus tips. A helthy $300 bucks, for a 4 minute 0.7 mile ride (according to Google maps).

Aye, aye, aye.

First of all, the hotel is not your 24/7 butler that follows you around the city hailing cabs for you.

Secondly, what’s wrong with you that you can’t call a taxi, or get one on the street?

Thirdly, why in the world should they give you free transport? If they gave you a free limo (which is apparently what they own) for .7 miles, why not 7 miles for a Platinum member?

Folks – stay at a Holiday Inn instead if you need great service. You will find that they can put a bell boy in a cab to go and get you – faster and a lot cheaper than the St Regis scheme.

Getting back to the St Regis – soaked – I found the courtesy car idling by the sidewalk.

Dumb dumb, why didn’t you get your own taxi instead of walking .7 miles? To prove a point?

And this complaining is justified because… *drum roll*

I – a Starwood Preferred Guest Gold member staying in a suite.

Ahhh. I see. Wow, you must, like, get in 10 hotel stays a year! You must be important!

 

#2

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 12.48.53 AMSome rooms are Haunted

Now I don’t mean to be insensitive about this crap, but… I just can’t help but notice something.

My wife can see ‘extraordinary’ beings.

Yea. Best opening of any review.

On the 2nd day evening, she started telling me that she sees ‘shadows’ in the room. We traveled 12 years together & this was the 1st time the situation was so intense that she asked to change room due to this kind of reason.

Mmmkkk…

We spoke to the duty manager, he was not very accommodating. He changed us to another room on another floor.

Wait. He wasn’t very accommodating, but he changed you to another room, on another floor? What were you hoping for?

My wife said it was still ‘unclean’. At last, the duty manager found another bigger room but wanted us to pay more for it.

Ahhh. Alas, I see. Different room on a different floor, that wouldn’t help. But a bigger room, that would do it!

I felt unhappy because the problem was with the hotel room. However, it was already very late at night & I didn’t want to argue with him, so I agreed. We changed to the bigger room on another floor.

1 star? He moved you around. He told you the bigger rooms are more expensive, and he moved you (because it’s “unclean”) and you still complained? Wow.

#3

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 12.57.26 AM

would have marked a LOT higher except for…….

Mind you, this is a Holiday Inn that received two stars, because…

I can NOT believe that a hotel with this rating only supplies PAPER or PLASTIC drinking cups in rooms!!

Okay, this is the second best opening of a review.

Plus if I wanted a cup of tea I had to pour water through the coffee perc, then wait for it to heat. For God’s sake – how hard IS it to supply a couple of proper coffee/tea mugs and an electric kettle?? Plus NO room service!

Apart from that issue (which obviously annoyed the hell outta me),

I mean obviously…

the hotel was good. Excellent food at Jimmy Buffets, with the exception of breakfast which was horrible & tasted like ‘plastic’ food.

Yea, excellent food, except for the hint of horrible and plastic.

Anyways, the person then goes on and on about how awesome the hotel is because of the food, bar, views, and location. But closes with a coffee reminder.

I would not stay here again until the issues mentioned above were fixed. (I went to an ABC store & purchased a coffee mug etc)

 

#4

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 1.19.42 AM

Undisney – Like

This is not a resort to stay with young children. Upon arrival we were turned away from the Pepper Market Buffet because they close at 2 (we arrived at 1:45)

One of those, I’m glad they turned you away, by the time you would be ordering your food, it would be closing time!

after heading to the front desk we were seated and were able to eat.

Oh, you’re one of those. I have a bad feeling about you.

Once in our room – which was a good 15 minute walk- we had to call housekeeping to bring us regular coffee (we were only left decaf) and were treated as if this was an inconvience to the staff.

I’m sure that’s in your head. How long is the walk to your room again?

we were not given any checkout information and no information as to what time we were to board the Magical Express to go back to the airport, I called the front desk and they had no record of us even registered for the service- although I had a confirmation number.

Just to clarify that this lady is a loon, Dr. Google told me that the “magical express” is a complimentary shuttle. I seriously doubt she had or needed a confirmation number or reservation.

When we did board the bus they didn’t even use the typical “Magical Express bus, it was a basic Mears transportation bus (not a huge deal for me, but my 4 yr old was looking forward to the sparkles on the floor) My kids (8&4)

*Sigh*

Assuming the hotel did own the shuttle bus (which they don’t), just why complain about the sparkles on their tripadvisor.

This is my fourth Disney Resort stay (value and moderate) and my least favorite hotel over all.

I think we all know who’s really the “undisney-like” one around here.

Conclusion

The review with the most votes by the end of June 18th (EST) wins the $100 hotel gift card.

Click Like to vote. Help someone land a gift card, and help make the world a better place. :-D

Understand that the like button in the top right of each box is for the Travel Is Free Facebook page. While I obviously want you to like my page, I want you to be clear that the like button in the box is the one to vote. (This is the best way I thought of to limit voting to 1 vote a person, per review).

When we announce the winner, I’ll share a runner up that technically wasn’t a review.

Related Posts:

Tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The Epicly Dumb Hotel Review Finalists!

  1. AMJ says:

    Hey Drew…we actually do Disney a lot and I can clarify for you that you actually do need a reservation for Magical Express and they are pretty strict about it because it is a charter bus with only so many seats. If they let on someone who failed to make a reservation, it would cause someone with a reservation to be bumped.

    I’ve been on both the regular Mears buses and the “Magical Express” buses several times. My family must not be terribly observant because we’ve never noticed “sparkles” on the floor. All we care is that it is a free ride back to the airport.

    • Drew Macomber says:

      Oh… Well that was unfair. But I question your judgement if you’ve never even noticed the sparkles! You should write a negative review for the hotel you left from!?!?!

      *joke*

  2. mike says:

    I have a standing complaint about all hotels – everywhere.

    I hate the check in and check out times. I want them to operate like rental cars such that one can check in at any time and then check out 24 hours after check in. As it stands, lets say one wanted to check in at 5 am and check out a 8 pm, then despite that it is merely a 15 hour stay, the hotel will charge for 2 nights.

  3. Andrew T says:

    Is it just me, or is there no “Like” link embedded for #4? Yes, I’m biased.

  4. ms says:

    While the Holiday Inn reviewer is obviously a jerk, I have to say I agree with the tea issue. As a tea drinker I can confirm it’s true that running your tea water through a coffee maker does result in some pretty revolting tea. I think a nice solution for hotels would be to keep a few electric tea kettles on hand and ensure that people know it is available upon request (maybe a note on the coffea/tea service tray).

  5. Sameer says:

    Don’t think you did a good job with the shortlist.. there are others who deserved place in this prestigious list..

  6. Marie says:

    These “reviews” make me weep for humanity.

  7. Awesome – we had a local hotel here that was just shut down for heroin sales and prostitution running rampant throughout – reading the TripAdvisor reviews on that one gave me an appreciation for “worst” hotel reviews in a whole new way :-)

  8. Andrew T says:

    I submitted #4: Undisney-like, and I’ll concede that Haunted Rooms is the most ridiculous review I’ve ever seen!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>