Folks, I swear after this posts, I’ll return to a travel blog again but Frank just stopped by, and you’d be surprised by what he had to say…
I was sitting here seriously typing a response to Erin in my post “Is giving a homeless man a bed, like giving a hungry man a fish?” It’s a story of Frank, how we tried to help him, how he tried to use us, and how it came to a stomping end (literally).
I was pretty upset about the situation and was typing up a semi-cynical response and I heard his voice calling hello. My door was open to bring in the beautiful morning and Frank was at the bottom step of our little porch.
Great.
“Yes Frank?” I answered and opened up the screen door to stand outside with him. Waiting for a favor to be begged, but I got something quite different… an apology.
He said that he just wanted to come by and apologize. That his actions were out of line and the least of what I deserved was an apology. He also wanted to explain that he was drunk (as if I didn’t notice) because his dad’s death sometimes causes him to drink… and he shouldn’t. He said he had a job coming up and that he hopes he can pay me back to make it right.
“I don’t care about the $40 Frank.”
“It’s a matter of dignity.” He responded.
I will be darned. He didn’t ask for anything else. Although he did inquire about the current state of his [now smashed] phone, and I told him I’d check it out but it’s not too good. He told me to “say hello to the fam” and began to leave. I offered him a bottle of gatorade, he accepted and left. That’s it.
Maybe you were right Erin.
In this town, I’m sure I’ll see him again but will leave it off of Travel Is Free from now on. Thanks for the responses in the first post. Cynical and optimistic, they were all good for me to really think about. I still don’t know what the right thing was but this does ease my mind a little. It makes me think holding him accountable was the right thing. Who really knows, but wish and hope the best for Frank.
Ok, so I just checked your blog and I honestly just checked to see if there was a response from you…I refreshed your sight and this post just popped up ! I can’t tell you how much I thought about the situation last night…I prayed a lot for people like Frank who are in need. And I prayed for peace for you about the whole thing. I am not saying that it had anything to do with his apology, but God hears. I believe he is at work…thanks for posting this, Drew! 🙂
Sorry but I don’t believe this apology story. You’re just trying to save face and not look like a “complete” stooge.
@ Erin – Well, I’m still a cynic about the situation. So I don’t think his life has turned around. But it totally shocked me. In a good way. It at least put me at ease.
@ alan – In your defense, I left out a few details. Like him talking about his bike getting stolen (which I happened to see him riding the day before (which is another story)). And he gets a lot of things stolen. And I didn’t share that he said his dad died last week, in his story today, but a few weeks ago he said his dad died years ago and they put his mom in the home. I also found out over dinner that he’s been around Cville for like 10 years and is known for having up and downs, where he’s friendly and then… not. And I’m under no delusion that he’ll ever show up with $40.
Honestly, I don’t know what to say to you alan, except, I don’t have a problem looking like a “complete” stooge when attempting to help someone, for better or for worse. I make mistakes. Or I don’t mind looking like a stooge in general. In fact, I think I’ll write a post of the most stooge things I’ve done lately.
I’m not saying his life has turned around in 24 hours. But he didn’t HAVE to come by to apologize. Most people are aware of their “problems” but struggle for years, sometimes a whole lifetime, to try to overcome. I’m still praying for the whole thing….and for those who can’t understand why you would even try helping someone. I’d rather spend my life serving others and trying to help than to selfishly stand by and watch…
Until the classic addict removes himself from his drug of choice, he will continue to lie and manipulate. Frank is just one more instance of living proof. I admire the way you have attempted to befriend and help Frank. The only “mistake” you made was giving him the cash, which you regret. If I were stuck in an addiction, your kindness might just be the bright ray of hope/helping hand I need to face my addiction and seek the help I need. Thank you!
@ Erin – That’s true. I don’t know what possessed him to come by and do that (although he does stick around this area of town). But I will say that I’ve learned that people have different ways of helping other people. And it’s easier for me to talk to homeless than perhaps others. And others are great about helping the elderly, orphans, the disabled, etc… All need friends and just because someone doesn’t understand helping a homeless man out, doesn’t mean that they aren’t way more giving than say I to many others.
@ Mike – Thanks Mike. That’s encouraging. Yea, I think if they see that you’re a bit of a sucker and might get them what they want, they use you more. I think.
And it’s interesting that now he doesn’t pretend around me. He came by smoking and wasn’t quoting the bible the entire time. Whether to call me a saint or selfish.
That’s nice that he came back to apologize. I think you did a good deed and God well put this in his books. No matter who criticizes you on helping others, you shouldn’t stop doing the right thing. Every man is only accountable for his own actions when you go. Also it was a good story and added a more personal touch to this blog letting your readers in on your personality. Keep up the good work!
🙂 Thanks. Yea, I seem to be pretty polarizing. It’s either completely about stopovers or completely about how we handled a conflict with a homeless man. Thanks for the kind words.